Those strippers last night smelled great. It was the perfect mixture of vanilla and daddy issues.
I wish i could 80s montage me losing weight
I waited so long to accept his friend request that he canceled it. So I added him and when he accepted I deleted him. I wonder how long this will be funny to me
I've started grabbing my boobs in front of my lesbian philosophy professor so she'll give me a better grade. It's working...
After throwing up, the toothpaste tasted so good. Thank you for not letting me eat it.
She greeted me with a new giants jersey and an opening day blowjob. this is true love.
got extra credit for showing up to class before a holiday. it hit me 5 minutes later that she meant easter....
I'd be there a lot sooner if these damn stairs would stop moving.
Status Uddate: I lost half a tooth and Alison is taking Amy Grant requests via bullhorn
Fuckers are stealing our internet and making my porn stream slowly so I changed the password for VanceRefrigeration to RyansaCunt. No spaces but capitalization.
We need more drag queens in our life I've decided
My roommates call me "Queen of the Skanks" I guess that means I've had a successful first month of college.
I wish we could all take a bath together. Not in a lesbian way. But in a relaxing drunk in the tub sort of way.
It's like if you wanna bond just do a ropes course or have group sex you don't have to be weird about it
She called to tell me she just hooked up with my crush...and that he talked about me...not sure if I should be pissed or excited?
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