what's the vibe there?
extraordinary amounts of gine
ugh, i have officially sinned in all of my cute clothes. i can't even wear any of them without feeling regret.
Aren't I supposed to sit on your face?
Yes. Hungover. All the boys are going wakeboarding. Boys only. I wish I was a gay guy so I could go wakeboarding but still suck dick.
is 1am too late, or too early to make bacon?
you blew your rape whistle in his face every time he got near a girl till he left the party...
Just walk of shamed past a 5 year old on my way out of my booty call. He waved at me. Is this the single life I've been missing?
Also, in the middle of me riding him, he said "I want you to dance on my dick" like I was supposed to know what that means
somehow attending a funeral viewing turned into me snorting cocaine in the bathroom and drawing ninja turtles for children
I've never had someone so bad at kissing. It was like he was trying to block my airway with his tongue and he succeeded...
If God invented something better than rough, drunken, lesbian sex he kept that shit to himself.
I think I need to see a chiropractor after giving that blow job
I re-seduced my fuck buddy...must be the luck of the Irish!
So glad I can hide money in my wallet and drunk me is too stupid to find it. Hangover sushi ftw.
There are flour footprints all over the house. Either u guys are trying to pull that Paranormal Activity shit on me again, or u got drunk and tried to make pancakes.
Randomize
