Dude i dont know how people can complain that waterboarding is such a bad thing. I just sat through a fucking puddle of mudd show. Now thats torture
It honestly took me longer to beat Ninja Turtles: Turtles in Time, than it did to have sex with her the first time we met.
he is a creepy guy.
yea thats what heroine does to ppl.
I made an oral joke and he laughed... That's when I realized I wasn't Daddy's Little Girl anymore.
She puked in the bank of America parking lot? Awesome.
Yeah, figured I'd deposit my check while we were there.
His blow is so strong I threw up. Buy it. I'm in nursing school I know what I'm talking about.
You missed practice last night. You owe at least 8 hours of liver sprints.
If you loved me you'd bring cheese fries and a condom
My fall semester strategy is to submit my papers with a nude selfie
You've got post-grad studies written all over you
There's Dick Pix, Zorro, and The Little Engine that Could. I nickname my fuck buddies for the exact same reason why you don't name animals which you will one day have for dinner.
Some dude peed on tonys floor because drunkness
They offered him a bucket as he was peeing and he was like "Nah, I'm good"
well I didn't shave for the hot dilf I banged last week so I'm sure as hell not shaving for you. Sry
plus like he's kinda a piece of shit. a beautiful somewhat talented piece of shit that hella needs to get his life together
I think I broke my toilet with my head. There are ceramic pieces everywhere. and I might still be drunk.
I was having a dream that I was swimming in a pool filled with melted chocolate but woke up to find I had poured chocolate milk all over my body
Randomize
