I walk of shamed back from his dorm in costume while his dad and brother were waiting outside to drive him home. his dad apologized to me. my life never gets old.
Did you ever feel like going into a planned parenthood and performing an abortion in front of them?
Umm..who the fuck is this?
Oh shit
i forgot beer had calories. that would explain alot.
I just kept pointing at random people and telling the bartender to put it on their tab.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I woke up with a piece of pizza duct taped too my hand and a paragraph written on my chest. Good night is say
I know he is still a student. I am not asking if his being an underwear model makes it more ethical, just less prosocutable.
In local news, attempts to hide phone from extremely drunk self prove unsuccessful for Dallas woman.
in honor of breaking bad starting soon, i am now banging a walter white lookalike. viva heisenberg!
Question #1: Why am I on my living room floor? Question #2: Where did the bloody footprints come from? Question #3: Why are there two McChickens next to the wine bottle?
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
They said you went back in for 30 minutes and were walking with your arms out like an eagle soaring
I wish there was an emoji for sad lady boners
If he sends me a dick pic so help me god.
I was in a bad mood so I guilted her into giving me $100 on a weekly basis and now I feel bad but I don't know how to tell her I hustled her
you kept shouting 'jesus penis' when i was on the phone with 911
“On a break” is implied when it’s a Russian chick dressed as Black Widow wearing Minnie Mouse ears
Randomize