forecast for tonight- shitshow with a chance of tbell
my version of bright and sunny.
I dont need to watch it. And stop comparing your life to Entourage.
I think I might have accidentally had a threesome last night with two good friends. See, this is what happens when you leave me.
i'm at the st pattys day thing. the bar is packed. they just put on celine dion its all coming back to me now. i'm screaming the words.
it's 1 pm.
theres a kid face down in the middle of campus... people are going about their day and paying no attention to him
Thanks for the ave Maria song you left on my phone that lasted for TEN minutes.
You were mounting an escalator last night, shouting "I have no health insurance" at people
It's like I'm in a vicious cycle of noncommittal penis.
he just asked me for a tag team. like at least let me get changed out of your roommates clothes from last night first...
I can't wait for you to see these terrible photos I'm about to have taken with some stripper looking girls. I don't know what this photographer is thinking
They're not that bad of drunks, they come back to the vehicle with more stuff than they went in with, so its a profitable venture.
Come get me...we were walking home and she kept yelling "people need to get run over more!" then she just sat down in the middle of the street saying "it just feels right."
Dude you of all people would miss her giving him a handjob in front of the whole party
then a garbage truck rolls up to the club, they hop out, and walk right in like they own the place
Ugh it's 2016, why can't our bodies just shed fat on their own
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