HELP! I am trapped in a douchebag ad... full of Affliction and Ed Hardy. Seriously? is he gonna leave his sunglasses on the entire 10 seconds of this encounter?
I just saw a commercial that said "call your doctor if erections last more than 4 hours". I said "disgusting" and my mom said "I know, i hate when that happens." Get me out of here.
How do i write this on his wall without making it sound like he gave me an std?
I seriously just washed my dick in a public restroom. That's how dirty last night got
also. he gave me a foot massage during 69ing when i got a cramp. he's a winner.
Bad news. I baked you a cake and one of my fingernails is missing.
yeah its nbd she just bit me in the face. be there soon
He can spot Burberry from half a bar away. He's not into vag
I think animal control just caught me smoking a bowl on the back porch. Do they have any say in this matter?? Haha
Just got walked in on while fucking in the lounge in the performing arts building. The janitors gave us five minutes to leave and applauded our exit
There's a time and a place for everything. Except for getting wasted at a work event, puking in the parking lot, and sleeping in your car overnight.
I want everyone to love me, and THEN I will choose who gets to eat me out all the time.
I'm like going proud parent over you doing drugs, this is so wrong.
This is the drunkest I've ever been at a chili's
How many times do I have to tell you I'm not bisexual.
.....unless there is alcohol involved
Randomize
