We are so in love
so when's the next time you get to see your balls
You just kept rubbing her head and repeating "I really like your head, I want your head..." over and over for like 10 minutes straight... And she didnt even stop you.
Maybe shotgunning 4 days after oral surgery wasn't such a good idea after all...
You obviously dont comprehend the level of insane i operate at
he attacked my vagina with the force of a thousand suns
I got to see some gay bartender let a girl with daddy issues whip Travis in the balls with his own belt. Totally worth it.
I was cracking open beer cans, throwing them off the roof, and yelling "FRAG OUT!"
This medicine is making me nuts. I just woke up and I thought I was in a glass case with Asians staring at me.
You're always so late and I'm always so drunk.
The fact that you screamed, "Alf is my spirit animal!" is proof enough that we're too old for peyote.
how do you politely tell someone their toddler looks alarmingly similar to the berries and cream guy
I mean, it's a romantic picture of pubes if I've ever seen one
Do you think if I had a tempurpedic bed he would still be able to feel me fingering myself after we have sex?
answer honestly do you think i can make a bloody mary with ketchup????
Just letting you know that your little sister is now your eskimo brother. You can send a thank you edible arrangement to Tammy.
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