Every time we have sex I can't stop thinking about Jesus
Is it too weird if im a sexy tampon for halloween?
ha so i just found a picture of you eating paper towels and many of Laura freaking out from it.
She is wearing lilly and pearls while drinking natty from a monogrammed coozie. If that isn't a sorosititue I don't know what is
The view from the bathroom floor this morning is fabulous
She woke up laying on my kitchen floor, ketchup bottle as her pillow, in front of my fridge.
if I want to go home with a foreign boy, please feel free to let me go, sober me gives you permission to let drunken me do it
theres pictures of him knuckle deep in her, both of them thumbs up and cheesin. someone should take her kid away
Dude I am not desperate enough to pay my dealer in change. Maybe tomorrow.
You tried to pay for our cab with the 2 dollars you got from selling your natty ice outside the strip club.
Bro if you don't text me back I'm gonna send you a picture of my nut sack every ten seconds for the rest of the night. I'm home alone with nothing to do. Don't push me.
He told me to prepare for his "Jurassic cock" and I had to leave the room from laughing.
I was going down on her and she started whistling "Whistle while you work." I'm in love.
After we finish having sex, he smokes an honest to God pipe. It's like fucking a big, sexy Sherlock Holmes...
Did u puke in a church parking lot? And go to the wrong funeral yesterday? Lol
Randomize
