so i decided to listen to you and went ahead and slept with him. you owe me 3 minutes
he kept bringing up different times we had sex and i wouldnt say anything back. i would never confirm nor deny the situation...like a politician ya kno
they said they heard you say put it in my butt
I'd really appreciate it if we could dress up as pilgrims and indians for the thanksgiving eve bar crawl
Just found a wrench in the washing machine. Sooo not doing your laundry anymore.
I dont know if you relize this but ive been high ly medicated in my room for a whil now. GOing out into the real world would make me li ke tom ha nks. im not ready to be tom hanks..
I just woke up eating some beef jerky with my cat. I think she opened the bag for us.
Im just using you for your dick and your superb survival skills if needed.
And the cops are back. At least my pants are on this time
Stumbled across a pregnancy test in my closet. Oh, the freshman year flashbacks..
as much bud light as i have consumed over the years budweiser should give me a clydesdale
He was awesome with her today. I can't say that it didn't make my Fallopian tubes sing "The Hills Are Alive."
You kept flirting with some guy while I was throwing up on the sidewalk, and I screamed YOU DON'T LIKE MEN
There's a rash on my genitals that would like a word with you.
I don't think you understand I turned down McDonalds for you.
Randomize
