How long until YT realizes that it's a man?
dude i woke up laying next to some guy. i dont have my bra or his name. he has a nice tv though.
Never fear I pulled out... she had "lies about taking birth control" written all over her
She better not be too drunk to operate a blowtorch
my mom just cut me up lemons and limes so i would have some vitamins with my tequlia
I just want you to know how happy I am that you are circumcised.
I may or may not go. send a pic of a nipple so I know how much fun you're having
WHY does every guy I sleep with want to fix my car?!
I knew I'd like her from the moment she supported me messing around with my co-worker on my lunch break
Well I'm a full service fuck buddy so lemme know if I can get you food or water or anything
I wrote a list of things I enjoy doing. So far it says "get high and go to museums."
Also I’m on 3%. Just Incase.. I miss you and I love you and you’re my everything and I’m getting drunk.
I told you that you couldn’t eat fifty tacos, you slapped me in the face, ate seventeen tacos, and fell asleep on my floor
Hey. You got pizza and sex. How much more can you ask for?
Rule number 1 of dorm living: do not forget your butt plug in the bathroom.
Randomize
