Is it necrophilia if we're both dead?
You are not answering and I think it is because you spent 80 dollars worth of drinks on you hot cousin.
yeah, you were trying to hump the doorman.
when did we get a doorman?
we were also in the wrong building...
This is the prime rib incident all over again
You would think that someone would have been sober enough to object to vodka bong races.
I think Charlie st. Cloud is the saddest thing I can masturbate to.
it was like, one of those nights where you keep going back to the fridge because you just can't get full. except, with sex.
I miss your penis. I'm telling you this as a friend, like its just a really great penis. You should be proud of it.
Her vagina smelt so bad I lied and told her that I was married just so that she would leave.
I'm missing some hair, but it's cool. Breadsticks are done.
Next time she asks for a ride to her "cousins" house and it turns out to be a booty call we're charging her for each mile.
My boob is missing a layer of skin
9 am booty call on your ex's birthday. Fuck yea
You were laying next to me in bed at 4:30 a.m. I asked if you were drunk and you said you weren't drunk you were buzzed like a bumblebee. Then kept rambling on about having to call out of work.
I'm dancing with a sandwich I just made cause I'm so happy how delicious it tastes, that high haha
Randomize
