You picked a bad night to stay in. ____ caught her hair on fire in ____'s birthday cake.
She had to stop drop and roll while two other girls beat the flames out. She might have a black eye
You should have seen the look on the cashiers face when I was buying steel reserve with a suit on.
I just found a bottle of gin in my vegetable crisper. Party is back on.
I swear it started with good intentions but then my slutty side took over and we started playing strip checkers
Word is he has some crazy hawaiian STD
What did I eat last night that was bloody?
You were doing karaoke. Then you screamed "SHOUTOUT TO ADAM LAMBERT" and started making out with the very surprised looking guy next to you.
She asked if you knew her boyfriend, and you responded that you "think you gave him head once" and then hiccupped.
She just kept introducing me to people by telling them which of their friends I've fucked
I started scrolling back in our texts looking for context and a picture of your dick rose like the Great Pumpkin in the middle of my screen.
So apparently when I'm drunk and want water I pant like a dog and expect to have water given to me..
Yeah. Still not happy that my prof saw a picture of my vag.
Their first impression of me was that I was completely naked. So yeah college hasn't even started yet and I'm already that person.
Things that don't wash off in the shower: black eyes and hickies.
Every time you mention the threesome around him I will high five you. Do what you will with this information.
Randomize
