It's 10am, I'm at grocery store buying booze b/c the bf just told me that he didn't "technically" break up with his ex.
Definitely saw about 20 people at my final that were never present before. It's like seeing who's gonna be serving me fries in 4 years.
No now hes going to beat me to our goal of getting someone to have sex in the library. I hate periods.
I don't know what to judge you more for.
If I can't get a one-legged man to love me, what the hell chance do I have with a NORMAL guy???
Just got a message from a guy on a dating site who says he helped me remove lime pulp from my eye in a club toilet 2 weeks ago.
I'm at work, and just realized I the beer smell I keep getting random whiffs of is my bra. I fail at life.
Do you have any pix of it limp? I wanna see the metamorphosis, like a cock caterpillar turning into a giant beautiful cock butterfly!
just remember the most important rule of taking psychedelics: monsters can't get through blankets
Last night was incredible. I can tell by the nacho cheese on my jacket
That's probably why white girls drink so much espresso. Piledriving coke and vodka crans takes a fucking toll man
Was it your intent last night to burn the house down? With a waffle..
I can't believe there are people our age getting engaged and I can't even find a solid coke dealer.
so apparently over the course of the night my roommate and i had sex in exactly the same spot. ps the downstairs sink needs cleaning.
I woke up and there is a small Irish man playing call of duty in my room. Discuss.
What do you think would be the best way to remove a baby carrot from a vagina?
Randomize
