i've decided that sluttiness is like a disease, it can lay dormant in you for years and then one day you go to college and with all the booze and drugs and boys and time on your hands symptoms begin to show then one day BAM you're a huge slut. it's like how izzie had skin cancer and it grew into brain cancer.
why is it impossible to run with a back pack without looking like a giant d-bag?
haha... you gave me a great visual of you in high white socks running with a backpack with eye of the tiger playing in the background
that only happened once.
he told me I talked like a deaf person
the girl i fucked last night woke up this morning, disoriented and looked at me, and said "oh, you're hot." and went back to sleep.
I hope his life after cheating on me is as good as Tiger's golf game is these days.
she played "i just wanna get married" by jagged edge while we were having sex. why cant i avoid stage 5 clingers
im sorry for trying to flush a roll of toilet paper down with my puke. probably not great for your toilet
Were gonna hotbox in the trunk. I think there's room for another half of a person if you're interested
Dave used his AAA card to get my car towed to my house so I could get drunk. Evil genius.
Yeah. It's just like I have his virginity and he has my shoes and where do we go from here.
im far more worried about your salsa intake than your weed intake
I call him Seabiscuit because he's my trusty steed
what better to celebrate not being pregnant than to eat a bowl full of rum soaked pineapples?
Congrats on graduating and I'm in a cab and need someone to helps keeping me up, do you mind
fucking him is like fucking old faithful. you could set your watch by his orgasms.
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