my phone is set on vibrate and its tucked up in my left front pocket. call me back 20 times real quick.
new midget porn idea. Wizard of Jizz: Munchkins Revenge
found a naked boy completely buried under a pile of her clothes and terrified...she says she was "saving him for later"
Being this Hungover on Easter has brought my closer to Jesus... I swear he had to feel shitty like this after coming back from the dead
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Remembering I sold my brand new Blackberry to a stranger for a few pints = Worst night of my life. Now to work out what I did with my shoes.
Me focusing on not shitting my pants is keeping me awake.
OH DEAR GOD. He looks like if u licked him he'd taste like bourbon, sex and sunshine.
"Just cut me in half. Then take half of me home. And leave the other half here. Cuz I can't see."
But I do cardio so I don't get winded during sex really it's not like I'm trying to lose weight
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
LET ME HAVE MY JUDGMENT OF OTHER PEOPLE
i mostly like you because you have a nice nose and that's an important trait to pass on to my future children
My vagina is very pro this idea
I told my parents how nice the girl at the frogurt store was. I neglected to mention that I nearly lost my virginity to her via foursome.
Boys winking, cowboys tipping their hats, old people looking disappointed.... ah, I had forgotten the unholy powers of exposed cleavage!
You are my hero.
well true... there's not a real discreet way to masturbate in public
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