Now hope fervently that she'll do it quick and cheap, just the way i like it
I just crawled out of a second story window using a sheet and his clothes for a rope so he wouldn't wake up.
I am so glad I watched Macgyver as a kid.
There is no way to make a throwing up smiley so just picture it....
I'm at a job interview and I smoked a little before I came. I thought it would make me less nervous. Boy was I wrong.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I may or may not have eaten the rest of your birthday cake last night after getting blazed and watching harry potter.
i think you have the wrong number
so then it wasn't your birthday cake. k, cool.
Been considering the feasibility of adopting a kangaroo. Yes I'm very serious. And yes I'm very high.
What's the point of having 3 fuck buddies when their periods all seem to sync up
I think he just gave me the 'I used to sleep with your sister' discount
If I ever die and svu has to come to my murder scene make sure they know I don't wear underwear always so it might not be as bad as they think
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I'm sure it's not the worst thing to ever come out of my ass
She had pubes that could make an episode of Duck Dynasty. Fear the Vag Beard
Do you remember ripping my condom off last night while yelling "I DEMAND MY MEAT RAW" like a Viking?
ETSY JUST SENT ME AN EMAIL WITH THE SUBJECT "SUMER ROMANCE" I'M BEYOND FUCKING DONE
We made a pact to go to the nursing home together... that way we could stay high till the bitter end. Do you not remember?
who knew being a fake dominatrix could be so fun?
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