Just saw an Asian guy riding his razor scooter to class. Dreams do come true
you yelled then hung up at the girl on information bc she could not pinpoint your location and tell you how to get to dennys
she was so wasted that she tried to tuck me in and read the jokes on the taco bell sauce as a bed time story
I thought it couldn't get worse until she said "Nipple hair"
Don't feel too badly. Until twenty minutes ago my paper was a heading and a pizza order.
this is not real life
it never is. after midnight never counts.
bro your seconds weren't very sloppy last night, is everything ok?
Officially drug you out of White Castle last night by the hood on your sweatshirt after you cussed out the attendant and stole the satisfaction guaranteed sign because they were closed!
And then we felt it necessary to continue drinking for another 4 hours, yikes
He had to put the child locks on the windows so you would stop screaming at random boys
OH MY GOD! I CAN FEEL A PULSE IN MY BALLS IT HURTS! ITS LIKE MINI FEMINIST NINJAS ARE ATTACKING MY BALLS!!!
He sent a video of him jacking off....class will be awkward tomorrow
Its honestly only a matter of time before I punch him in the face... I'll try to control myself until you guys break up
looked it up online and zoo tickets are only 20 bucks and there's also a museum of science close to the hotel.
i'm not going to a FUCKING museum. i want to be wasted and possibly double penetrated... have you EVER been on vacation?
You came into the club around midnight with a carton of tropicana o.j. & said you were starting a revolution.
Mike's not allowed to drink vodka anymore. He couldn't get his temporary tattoos (stickers) to stick so he super glued them on.
Randomize
