is she serious with that outfit? Why doesnt she just paste a for sale sign on her boobs?
What's the second line of that rhyme that starts "Vicodin before scotch...?"
Apparently it's poor taste to ask for a break up blow job...in McDonald's. Also, that's not the best way to break the news either.
It was sunday, you had a camel back of bloody mary stumbling around a dog park with no dog.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I've just stalked all the hot guys who have clicked "attending". I now know which guys are "yes", "maybe" and "no". I only hope my drunk self remembers.
woke up holding a soft boiled egg cup and empty bottle of rum. apparently i couldn't find a shot glass
I feel like we shud celebrate your sisters homecoming by having sex in her room
I woke up naked to an alarm set for 11:18 pm and missing a shoe. How was your night?
Then when he got home he face timed me and showed me his balls
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Hey can you tell Daniel there's a bottle of Captain Morgan's in the dryer ...
Sorry I think you have the wrong number
Yes it looks like I do
Today I learned that I have a bigger dick than Draymond Green
Sooo I ended up ugly crying at the drive thru window at 10 pm last night....how was your valentine's day?
Well what did you order
Yeah, I'm pretty glad I chose you to have drunken, sloppy birthday sex with.
That's the nicest thing anyone has ever said to me
Nothing like having a family watch you dry heave at the end of the dock
What's the point of having a gay best friend if he doesn't play with your titties?
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