never play flip cup with pint glasses
You sprayed lemon pledge on your crotch because it was "dusty"
I feel that my census will not be the first census submitted soaked in beer
maybe it wasnt such a good idea to pregame our lease signing...
he squeezed my boobs like he didn't know what else to do with them, then turned down head...
told you he was gay.
If there is a god, you will have pink eye tomorrow.
We had to coat check the pizza.
I wish you could take over my body and feel what my nipple feels like right now
You don't have anything to lose--we've established that he's not going to murder you and he smells good.
Went home last night with a guy in a tutu, didn't know he was wearing a tutu until he threw it at me in the bedroom. God I love Halloween.
I burned myself with a joint twice in one sitting I have to say that's a new record for the least number of times I have hurt myself while smoking.
I'm going to confession for the first time in 6 years. Where do I start, the gay sex or rampant alcoholism?
The cashier looked at my basket, looked at me and said "That's a lot of wine." I looked at her and said "Mother in law." She nodded approvingly.
also, my mom just called to make sure the dick tattoo on your arm was fake..
Straight boys are literally imbeciles. If Darwinism doesn’t get them female rage will.
Randomize
