He has been begging me for a Bj but doesnt want to get mono
How is he gunna get mono? is he gunna suck on his dick after you?
are we at that level where i can tell you your girlfriends tits looked really good yet?
Yes I have a handle on life. A handle of Svedka.
As soon as they started using chocolate milk as a chaser for captain Morgan, I thought l it'd be best to leave.
i formally give you permission to eat me when i pass out
On Friday, can we drink like its Civil Wars times and the doctor's coming to saw off our gangreen infected legs?
I like her because we want the same things out of life AND she actually wants to have sex with me.
I have commenced my lesbian college experimentation. Wish me luck
I give all credit to my lucky thong, there's never a time I haven't gotten laid while wearing it
I thought I'd never say this, but if I had to choose between these cookies and sex, it would be these cookies
Once the overwhelming "oh god my crotch is on fire" wears off, that excite stuff is really nice
The awkward moment when you're leaving the most attractive guy you've ever been with and you're trying not to shit on yourself. Fucking welcome to my life
Family acid trip. They're welcoming me into the family.
What. The. Fuck.
Family acid trip.
Guy just rode past on a lowrider bike smoking a blunt, I want his life
I don't know what that means but it's making me want to fuck you.
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