I just walked by a ginger with a mullet. I repeat GINGER mullet. So help us God.
She was that classic mixture between "Hell no" and "Why the fuck not."
he knocked over the vodka and juice...picks up the cup and says "yes", takes the last sip...doesnt even worry about the mess all over the floor and we continue having sex.
We did a shot for each one. Father... son... and holy ghost. That wasn't enough though so we moved on to toasting dead relatives.
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This is the third time that ive slept with him. He bought me more milk. I can feel the romance growing.
Also I'm sitting home alone with a big ass bowl of marshmallows right now just eating. It's so sad.
... I threw up in the shower this morning
You were "I'm not drunk" drunk.
I was feeling sad so bedroom vodka seemed like the best solution at the time.
You may be in san diego, but I just watched a guy in a wheelchair sing walking in memphis for karaoke. Check and mate.
Can you send me the pictures of me riding the penis
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I told her it would be awesome. We are all the same people. One of us would always be drunk, one of us would always be hooking up, and one of us would always be crying into a pancake.
I wouldn't know what to do. You never really mentally prepare for a cactus getting thrown at your face.
I don't have any soul left to be crushed.
I'm torn between wanting to wear lipstick and wanting to make out with strangers.
Tell him to put up or shut up. Can't be dangling dick in front of ho's without delivering.
It's just disrespectful
I just made myself 3 peanut butter sammies because I was too hungry to watch porn
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