Ask me how many people I've slept with. Because its changed since I last saw you.
I saw you 20 MINUTES AGO. You need to stop this.
people from other dorms came to marvel at the dump i took. i had a bio major take a picture.
her bf's celebrating 10 yrs of service at kfc...it's safe to say all the good men are taken
The fact that I pulled something plastic out of my mouth after taking that shot is starting to concern me.
I didn't know where we were going to start fucking, so I just strategically hid condoms all over the house before he came over.
Do you count doing $200 of coke off his dick until 6am as a successful rekindling of our relationship or...
I feel like parents watching our children. You want to step in and help them but you just have to let them make their mistakes
Is it okay to send him a "thanks for the sexual awakening" note?
I made out with my former step mother's best friend. Only knew the connection when they both showed up together at the bar.
His crazy is a thing to be cherished
He wore a t-shirt that had an arrow pointing to his crotch and "DO IT FOR THE VINE" on it.
At least he's honest about how long he'll last.
So many questions so I’ll prioritize. How did I survive last night?
My drunk ass is being chauffeured around like the damn queen of England
I mean, he’s listed as “Andrew DC Threesome” in my phone. THATS HOW I REMEMBER HIM! How is that not the start of a fairytale?
But what is a man profited, if he should gain Joe Biden and lose Alex Trebek?
Randomize
