I decided it would be a good time to smoke on one of my deliveries but then I got the munchies and ate a piece of the pizza I was freaking out so I told him it was our new pacman pizza
oral is when you put your mouth on someones privates and play moterboat or popsicle
there's nothing like that first "just failed out of my program" beer
I love drunk self when he leaves a prepacked bong for the morning... in the bathroom.
I am in fact going to raffle myself off for a night. If you are interested in buying a ticket let me know. $10 a ticket.
I am as serious as getting herpes in Mexico...
What do herpes have to do with anything?
We were talking about threesomes when she went to say who she would have as her third. She did not get to finish her sentence because her bf already said my name.My sheer presence destroys relationships.
Hey hey, in my defense we were just suppose to watch Disney movies from a blanket fort with beer and nachos. I was I suppose to know it would end in tears?
My face feels like its stuck between a ball sack and an asshole.
I just threw up birthday cake.. who's birthday was it?
I don't know what his name was or what he looked like, but I remember him rocking me to sleep with his cock
Because bro, I don't want your dick being touched mid conversation.
You faceplanted on the railroad tracks and when I tried to tell you to get up, you told me you were "taking a quick breather"
It was the scariest thing ever having a flame that close to my balls...
I feel like I have the I just lost my virginity face and everyone at the grocery store knows it.
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