oh man you're gonna hate me when you log onto facebook. remember i love you
What do you say about some mid-afternoon anal?
I love having hate sex.
just got super drunk mixing jägermeister with my lyme disease meds. even if my face goes paralyzed, at least i got smashed from it.
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Matt is in the hospital again. the night nurse text me asking not to bring the boombox again. is it sad or awesome that they are starting to know us?
Come find me please? Im in a ditch.
That doesn't help me much...
I'm right under the moon!
Judging by my dry clothes and wet sheets, I think I might have gotten out of bed, pissed ON it, covered it up, and passed out on top of it
He was using OnStar to get directions to the bar. I'm pretty sure he'd have gotten her number too if I hadn't disconnected the call.
I just celebrated my ex boyfriends birthday by having more sex than he will today.
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I just did the math, I've had 8 hours of sleep in the last 3 days. Not sure if that means I am dedicated to my sex life or my job...
I'll be there in 10. I need you naked and ready. Warm up.
May the one with the liver that just won't quit win
My new roommate is awesome. His father owns a bar and his sister has an E cup. I'm going to be with him forever
I asked you why you bought a sword and you then replied with the greek alphabet and then tried to assure me that samurais are apart of greek life.
And I broke things off with Justin last night. Except I texted him while he was asleep and then I was like well, that's probably not what he wants to wake up to, so I sent him a picture of the coconut I microwaved and caught on fire when I was really high one time.
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