Question: terrible or awesome when a girl give you head so vigorously that you get a hickey of sorts
Just woke up on a dolphin floaty wearing only a party hat. There's blood on the side of the pool and glass in the sauna. Worst fucking hangover. But some guy said he is making crepes so its ok
I was so high last night that i'm 89% sure my roommates set up an obstacle course for me and timed it. Not positive.. I think one of the challenges was pairing shoes
Do you remember snorting allspice and yelling at doughnut shop girl?
You missed practice last night. You owe at least 8 hours of liver sprints.
If he's dead I'm so gonna get the blame. I have his passport, keys and his tooth in my purse.
I woke up and took my shirt off, and there was what I was assume to be pieces of tree in my chest hair. Any ideas about that one?
Oh wow. Was walking and just saw her in the pool, fully clothed, ranting on an alligator float. I guess i should go get her before security gets here.
I remember nothing except the fact it happened and I ate doritos and we highfived a lot
Your dick is going to fall off. Be careful or you'll get callouses. A workingman's dick.
I had sex with him for the first time drunk, dressed in a toddler overall tutu costume, at 2pm. Horrible start.
One of the finest moments in my life was when I was puking in between my legs as I was shitting, and thought to myself "hmm this shall be called shomiting."
You thought the flashing lights were strobe lights when they were loading you into the ambulance. You asked the EMT if he had any X.
being broke is really keeping my alcoholism in check
Do you know why I slept in the yard last night?
You said you watched the lion king stoned and had to do it for simba.
Pride rock will get you every time.
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