Wow, your whole life is a joke regardless of the fact that its april fools day
When he came he kept saying "oh god oh god" and he sounded just like his dad. awkward...
It's almost like a boob-text, but it's not. Because it was live. And you were showing a bunch of people.
Only three months past my 21st and I'm done. So many life lessons in so little time.
He sat down, pointed at my Converse and said "I have the same shoes." I thought "I'm going to have sex with you by the end of the night."
The beer bottle was sticking out of your zipper and you shook it onto unsuspecting patrons
too bad I'd hit a car before I'd hit a bush.
Are we talking about jumping from windows or your willingness to fuck a car instead of a woman?
There should be a Doritos delivery van or something.
I wish I had a clear image of the dude who was sucking on my tit outside the bar last night
He was awesome with her today. I can't say that it didn't make my Fallopian tubes sing "The Hills Are Alive."
Me and my girlfriend were watching porn together..... it got awkward cause I kept getting notifications from my family on Facebook
This is a question I thought I'd never have to ask. How many hits of acid did you give your dad tonight?
i left you alone for two hours TWO HOURS & when i got back i had to rush you to the hospital because you were covered in Smooth Away pads & drinking the bong water..
went to class still drunk this morning and my professor made the class give me a round of applause and said, "see people, THIS is inspirational... if she can make it to class in this condition there is no excuse not to show up!"
But I only have 2 emotions angry and horny
Randomize
