I started the year with 2,800 dollars and am now down to 83 dollars-one of which i use to snort my focalin. I have given up on food and am perplexed as to how I can make 82 dollars last more than two weekends for booze
Between cock and motorcycle I'm glad I don't have to sit at work tomorrow
I woke up in his bed wearing nothing but my underwear and it was on backwards and my entire body is too sore to move...
Im glad someone is finally more of a drunken slut than I am.
She's lying on the sidewalk wailing that she is gonna die alone, with hundreds of strangers watching us, and also we lost Kate, . Please help me
We are smoking a hash blunt ... Bring your emergency inhaler
The security guard popped his head over the mens room door and goes "nice tits- now get out." Deer in headlights moment right there.
ok is that genuinely the first four bars of mozart's symphony #40 sharpied onto my arm or
Its like a match made in avoid-eachother-because-we're-antisocial-and-awkward heaven
Also this freshmen guy is talking about his gag reflex and no one is making blowjob jokes. I have no faith in the next generation.
with a cock that big I don't even care that he makes a convincing drag queen
He was smart enough to bring a condom to our study date so I mean I'm sure he'll do fine on the test
Two things. 1) party at my house this Friday 2) what was the name of the Australian you fucked on the cruise ship?
That awkward moment when you're drunk enough to crave cocaine, but you're sober enough to know it's only Tuesday.
can we drink soon
I'm not sure who this is but I'm free tomorrow night
My fuck it list is complete! I finally got a firefighter!
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