just took a cab, driver just asked what i'd been drinking- i said vodka, he said "can't do vodka-drunk, it makes me feel like i'm giving birth to myself" ...no comment
Why do i always get involved with 3 women at once?
Because life brings drama and thus like moths to a flame, women
it's not cheating when I paid for it
There is too much vodka and too much dick.
He's prob getting laid right now and I'm sitting alone in my duct tape shoes.
Wydf in so deruk i just dowwned a packet if salt waitibg for food at del taco
I seriously might throw up right now. In class. Sunglasses on. I'm getting too old for this.
I'm drugging my best friend. I'm like a whole new level of bitch.
I don't text first unless I'm hammered...so ya I text first a lot
Fuck. I have to get my shit together by lunch. Mission impossible.
My feelings for him are donzo molonzo but I can't turn down a pierced penis...
Spoiler alert: my plans for Halloween are going to make our dealer's birthday look like a bunch of mormon ladies having a scrapbooking circle
There is a high pitched squealing noise coming from somewhere in my house. I hope it's a gas leak cause I'm over this week man.
This is not the first time I've recognized my body is subconsciously trying to make pizza.
If my drunken penis pic is ever to be forgiven id like to start over with all that
Randomize
