I was staring at you from my window across the quad. I wanted to let you know so it's not creepy
I miss Bob Barker.
Yeah, more like Douche Carey...
it's just weird having a massive boner in the morning when you could have used it the night before.
you wouldnt answer to anything but devil's advocate all night.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
sitting next to michael phelps in the airport. wonder if he's carrying...
Need toilet paper. Napkins suck. Slowly running out of those two and the bleeding hasn't stopped. Your cat is next
He stripped down to boxers and then started flinging jello shots with a spoon into people's mouths like a catapult.
she fucked me tho cuz it was her cat's birthday. As soon as we were done she just says "ahhh tequila tuesdays"
juast therw a cheeeeesestirng over the fnce. stuckit to sombodys car winheild... gonna luagh if i find it mlted in the mrning.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I think the guy I was trying to dance with was an undercover cop...
I'm pretty sure you and I ate the entire Keebler elf weed workshop
Just switched my underwear without taking my pants off don't ever be ashamed to be related to me
we're drinking bellinis i mean god's titty nectar
I didn't know how to commemorate his death, so I snorted a fat line off of his obituary. Rest in peace.
YOU WAXED MY CAT YOU SICK FUCK
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