what do you think about when you wanna get rid of a boner?
dying kittens.
you might want to delete the history when you're done using the computer at work. did you ever find out what the white balls in your throat were?
i wish exes would disappear into a world where we never have to deal with them again, and they can just create drama for each other. Then if they wanted to talk to us, they would have to apply to get a "visa" to come back to our world.
She was Ugg boots AND a Bumpit. Of course I didn't sleep with her.
This is even worse then that time I fucked a guy just because he had air conditioning.
Of course he did. He is like the oprah winfrey for vaginas. Always giving that shit away.
I seriously think the toilet is the cleanest thing in their house. At least if I have to worry its not about that.
Hahah. They reconnected again?
Like with his penis I guess
I have the most nasty and explicit wet dreams of my boss that I'm embarrassed to look him in the face. I'd be pregnant or promoted if he only knew
This guy on Hoarders just said "we're all about 4 or 5 decisions away from shitting in a bucket". True dat
I feel like a bottle of fireball rented a bull dozer and ran me over until I was left without a shred of my dignity
She is dumping me if she doesn't get a ring by Valentines. So one more month of free sex and it will be back to the right hand.
I someohow managed to lose my butt plug in tne midst of moving to B.C. and I am not a happy camper.
we had to invent a new word for how drunk I was last night
It’s a good thing I’m the only one in the office today. My boy toy stopped by and now there is jiz all over my desk and couch
Randomize
