We traveled between two mile markers in 18 seconds. Do the math.
My T9 Word has dryhumped saved but I can't even get it to figure out bbq.
i feel as if its time to shave my pubes but i should wait until before the party. nobody likes a sloppy drunk girl with a stubble-crotch.
story of my life.
I need to hang out with girls who make more mistakes
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I think we should get high on adderall and nair each other again for New years.
She was mad I came so fast. I was like, It's the Olympics! Fastest time wins! We can train you in the offseason.
I heard that clinking noise from behind me and I already knew you were whipping out a Smirnoff in class. Again.
He also turned out to be underage (the fucking liar) so we had to get drunk on cooking sherry
lesson #1 of freshman year: grinding with a sombrero is difficult
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
He was wearing an Affliction shirt, a Monster hat, and he asked me for anal within 5 minutes of meeting me. Like 3 strikes and you're out, bro.
It's like wanting to be a vampire vs being a vampire. You don't know the cock lust until it's infected you.
I offered him midol and told him "it always helps my period so maybe it'll help yours"
With great boredom comes great irresponsibility.
Please tell me you're not on their roof again..
In fairness you've introduced me to a lot of people I've only met once, for like 5 seconds, while drunk
So it's my mom's birthday and I wanted to be super cheap and just walk up to her and say "I got you the greatest gift ever, mom! I'm actually sober right now!".
Randomize