I'm gonna answer everything she says with 'cum on da face' until she breaks up with me...great idea or greatest idea?
You know you had good weekend wheb we you hook up with three different girls and you don't feel no pain when u pee in the morning
I was surprised he admitted he couldnt keep up. We both knew but usually they dont come out and say it
so,apparently a side effect from having sex on the beach is now i have a tanline shaped like your sister
i hate you
Tim said I dropped my taco in a puddle and still ate it.
Ask her if said friend is decent looking or a wildabeast. Need to know if I need to top these 8 coronas off with a little tequila.
I'm doing lines by myself in the kitchen. I think your outside. yeah that's you. your naked.
Theres a high probability there will be two hot men waiting on you in your bed when you get home for lunch.
I see your walk of shame and raise you a day in jail wearing a girls old workout clothes.
trying to figure out what happened last night by looking around the apartment.
naked man under the piano. THE PLOT THICKENS.
My glasses were in the garbage this morning
The groom's brother was an accomplishment. Then I remembered he was also the officiant. Check and check.
it’s not easy to sexualize brunch. work with me, babe.
You know you have a good math teacher when we're talkIng about mixture problems and no one gets it until he explains it by talking about mixing alcohol
I know you think you’re ready to graduate but just keep these things in mind: taxes, I get up at 5 AM every morning, I have to buy vegetables when I go grocery shopping, and I can’t wear sweat pants to work. Take that victory lap and enjoy the sweat pants and bar hopping because it goes downhill real quick.
Randomize
