Did you REALLY have to twitter about our sex last night?
i just had sex bonerless
When we were fucking, you could hear the beer sloshing around in my stomach
Hashbrowns don't come out your nose as easily as you would think
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
So the answer to your question is yes, I was masturbating on the roof of my building.
Dude you missed it. This guy in the liquor store knocked over a whole display of 5 hour energy with his face.
That bar is one yeast infection away from total annihilation.
It would have to be recorded, because that sex tape would be humanity's primary evidence of miracles
We should get Al Michaels to provide commentary for it.
Do you realize half our text conversations are you asking me for tit pics and me saying no?
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I just went to add a song I had never heard before to my "high as fuck" playlist and it was already there.
I'm pants less watching buffy the vampire slayer drinking rum. I'm not that hard to impress
Just took physics exam. I think this is one of those 'chuck it in the fuck-it bucket and become an art major' days
he made that chewbacca noise when he came. like father like son i guess.
You took the receipt and ate it. You then took it out and gave it to the waitress with slobber and holes all over it.
You were licking skittles to check if they were "halucinateizers" so no, you are not leaving the house while on antibiotics.
Randomize