I told him it tasted like his mom..needless to say we were asked to leave.
we were holding hands throwing up into the same garbage can; if thats not true love i dont know what is .
Go forth Daniel, drink, be merry... And meet some hot Asians for your friends to bang
Cop came to our door looking for you. Something about sex in public and intoxication. I said you matched the description.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I didn't talk to any girls wearing masks because I wanted to avoid making the big mistake of making out with my sister.
BTW I totally understand panda express being popular amongst the highs. I can feel the shrimp being slaughtered in my mouth. It's fantastic.
By this time next year I expect us to have full time jobs that we can call out of so we can day drink on beautiful days like this. Oh, and grill.
Apparently I'm short enough to sit on his lap and fuck him while he is driving because the cop didn't notice.
Basically she credited me and my dick pic for boosting the moral of all the Safeway workers
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Bro i pulled the fucking willy wonkas gold ticket of ratchets the other night this chick was a real treat god bless her
Woke up naked with a post-it that said "don't ask questions" on my ass...i know im not supposed to ask but uhm what did I do?
I was told i took a shot doing a headstand in the backseat then proceeded to barf all over my face
I had no idea you were so talented.
The dentist walked in on me trying to bottle some laughing gas to take home with me. That high.
Did anyone see us fucking last night on the giant turtle outside downtown Disney?
I’m calling dibs!
You can’t call dibs on dick. That’s free range dick. May the best vagina win!
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