I want someone to please me without me having to show him steps 1 through 5
Two girls down stairs, two girls up stairs and....
We've got ourselves a situation
He started yelling "fuck the environment" then puked all over the baby trees
pretty sure if my vagina had a mouth, it would have been smiling afterwards.
He's basically like a fancy dildo that buys me dinner.
I have a video (on my shattered iphone) of a random DJ at some bar giving me a birthday shoutout and texts from random numbers talking about birthday sex. My birthday is in April... Happy birthday to me?
No no don't get confused. We do chemistry homework on Thursdays. We screw on Fridays. Other than that, Words With Friends is our only communication five days a week. We are NOT dating.
Matt. This is the manager of qdoba. Pick up the phone. Your friend needs you.
That super awesome moment when the guy who threw up in your bed last night crawls into your roommate's bed the next morning...Naked...She was in it.
I think I freaked him out last night. We got back to my place and I made chicken nuggets, chicken Alfredo, and half of one of those huge oreida hashbrown bags. And then ate all of it
I woke up in his bed wearing nothing but a penn state hat. We are....
I spent the entire night stroking his hair. He was cool with it. Never thought a ginger stoner would help me work through my social anxiety but here we are.
my birth father cheated on his wife with my birth mother. it's literally in my blood to be a home wrecker.
Did my extra credit for a class I badly need to pass at the bar of Friday's.. kind of sum's up my college career. Got a 90 though.
We were so amazed while watching mission impossible ghost protocol last night we didn't even have sex
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