I am going to be in the room whjen you have your first child and spit on its face before its even all the way out of you.
he passed out on the stove with a cup in his hand. yes the pictures are hilarious
yeah i fucked her in the storage room on the inflatable mattress. i don't know if i should feel proud for me or bad for her.
Watching dad use Doritos to illustrate exactly where to locate the clitoris. How's your family christmas going?
Uggh answer your phone, you are the only one I know who'll be proud of what I woke up next to this morning .
Attn: you have now used your free, one time admission to pleasure town. Thank you for visiting I hope you enjoyed your trip. All future trips to P.T. Will cost you full admission price. We have different pricing plans to accommodate different situations, and remember it is more of a bartering system than a set price. Your patronage is always welcomed and once again thank you for visiting and have a fantastic evening.
They play video games, go on acid trips, and in times of need, are willing to donate plasma together. COUPLE OF THE YEAR.
I NEED to see if his girl has a sister.
Tid bit for you to add to your "what to expecting when you're expecting to lose your virginity" book... Sex on nyquil is cheaper and BETTER than sex on esctacy AND you sleep like a champ after so you're not able to think about any bad decisions made.
The bachelorette started when I opened the door and they threw a few dozen dildos at me.
I had another sex dream about you but it was very dissatisfying. As you finished you starting singing the star spangled banner. then you left. I was not amused.
Got super judged by this lady at the Rolling Stones concert last night. Bitch don't look so salty at my dad and I splitting two joints, an edible, and two margaritas. It's the stones.
I'm gonna face reality, tomorrow morning is not on my hungover agenda.
Peeing out the car window on the way home was a nice touch. In December, in Michigan, at 3am. Never seen a girl do that before. Neither had the guy in the minivan next to us.
I'd like to thank Vicodin for getting me through family thanksgiving once again.
Remember that time I came to London for 4 hours, got hammered, cried for an hour and then left.
Randomize
