she was wearing a cheetah print one-piece and i slept with her anyway. big mistake.
I told her we could go facebook official. If she ups the oral.
Don't worry about later. I already pre-ordered a pizza for a 1:45 delivery and told them to ignore any calls from your number.
You're getting good at this, you know that?
I'm making progress with her.. She actually looked at me today and gave me a dirty look. Things are going real good.
I know eh? If a man wants to pay 7 bucks to see some boobies he should be allowed to do so in peace.
In the middle of having sex with me, she reminded me that I was supposed to call my mom that morning. My penis has never retracted so quickly.
Tonight that bitch will not be with him. You will drunkingly talk him out of this wedding. It is your duty as the one with the least amount of soul. Good luck.
Neighbor who got arrested at 3am just said he'd split the $ with me if I testify as the witness in his police brutality trial. He was also holding a baby and a case of beer.
After Madison dropped a bottle of full vodka an it shattered on the floor, it was quiet for literally 3 min straight and then drew said "the booze gods have spoken"
If it meant we had chicks like that every weekend I would gay marry the shit out of you dude
You just referred to a pillow with a stolen bra strapped to it as "she". Let that sink in for a minute.
Do you ever get high and look at your cat and feel like you know them on an intellectual level?
Please tell your sister I apologize about saying her baby may have beef curtains. That was inappropriate.
Well, if you're anything like me you'll get a lot of ass when you turn 30, so that's a plus
That was fun and all, but let's never have sex on a ladder ever again.
Randomize
