Are you guys doing anything tonight?
Krysta
i thought he was 22...he said he was 25..he was 19...im 26..it doesnt count if you dont know right?
i've come to the conclusion that there is no classy way to apply chloroseptic spray to your butthole.
There are no words to adequately express my gratitude for sending me porn you found staring a former classmate.
I will not fill you in on the details until we get back, so do not ask. I got peed on by the girl I was hooking up with last night.
MASS TEXT! MASS TEXT! Your sad horny friend has finally gotten it in and can go back to being normal once again. You're welcome.
It was so weird. She left to go to the bathroom and her older sister leaned towards me with a creepy smile and said, "You don't deserve her" and then continued to stare at me with a crazy expression for the rest of the evening.
That's kinky shit dude.
Dan I was a mess I made out with a 40 yr old who gave me a wad of cash for Christmas. Like wtf
I just soaked a sugar cookie in nail polish remover to clean off my nails because I was too lazy to walk to the bathroom to get a cotton ball. Is this what rock bottom feels like?
What's your ideal size in a man?
I just asked if you could cover my shift tomorrow......
if it looks like there's being an exorcism being performed you know your doing something right.
On a completely different note: my hookup and i are now in a semester GPA competition. Winner gets froyo and sexual favors. School just got interesting.....
He tried to tell me that that stripper was his aunt..
I woke up with your vibrator in my face
Are you feeling better yet?
I need a nap and a new butthole
Randomize
