; Think of how many worthless people would b non existant if there was no liquor so their parents never hooked up
he said i look beautiful when i cum. i think i'm in love.
I'm tuning in to watch Heidi Montag crash and burn on the Miss Universe Pageant. Somebody call 911. and I'm not talking about the Sean Kingston song.
Elton John & Lady Gaga just did a duet on the Grammies. How appropriate. He likes cock & she happens to have one.
my parents are out trying to convince the local liquor stores to post "do not sell our daughter alcohol" flyers. i'm preping my defense now.
His apartment number was 69. I had to.
I'm drinking too much free beer
Thats like saying one owns too many kittens. It's not possible.
On a scale of 1 to "bad descision", where does stealing my racist neighbors dog and giving him my roomates dildo for a chew toy rate?
I woke up smelling like chlorine with a broke toe. They know how to fucking party on lake lanier.
I feel like I got ass raped in the brain.
he gave me a thermos so I could take my coffee with my on drive of shame. I was unexpectedly grateful...
I have to be more responsible. I've dropped three lighters into my bong today.
Nothing like sunday church bells to aid your walk to the pharmacy to get plan b
Dude I asked him to get me beef jerky at 4 am and he actually walked to CVS to get it. CVS closes at 12 but it was the perfect opp to dip out
I woke up this morning hand cuffed to the bed with three bruised ribs and Amy written in lipstick on my chest... what happen lastnite??
TSA found the edibles
Fuck
Oh my god he just. Swiped them for explosives and handed them back to me
God bless California
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