Can Purell be used as lube?
There's an amish chick decked out in amish clothes on a cell phone staring at me.
its easy. just sleep with a bunch of guys until one falls in love
i just got fired from my job because i was "too smart" and my immedate response was i am WAY too stoned to be considered smart, and theni walked out the door.
wow. i have no words.
So Ive been fucking her for the past couple months and i just found our that my grandfather and her grandmother were fuck buddies for a while. I feel like this is a new awesome family tradition that skips a generation.
Heads up. We filled your kiddie pool with kool-aid and vodka. Things are about to get Out. Of. Hand. Quickly.
Waking and baking has revolutionized how i brush my teeth. Seriously up to like 25 min everry morn. Highly recommend
get over here soon, theyre throwing bbeers at us from the roof. keyword : throwing
pretty sure I called you last night to sing Hebrew to you.
I drink way too much to have a type. Last weekend I picked up a guy who calls me "baby girl"
drunk caitlyn doesn't know how to work gmail. so know an email has been sent to the entire campus with a picture of me naked eating a bagel attached.
I don't see how you can turn down creme brulee and orgasms
Gays age differently than straights. 29 is like 45 in gay years. Next year I'll be in adult diapers and applying for medicaid.
I mean I puked all over three separate towns last night and I still think you're the one who should reevaluate their life.
Just spilled a coffee mug full of scolding hot oatmeal on my bare dick. Hope you're having a good Friday night too.
Randomize
