I'd be more interested in girls if they were more interested in anal.
Is it sad that I woke up to more "Happy Holidays" texts on 4/20 than I did on Christmas?
Yea there's blood all over the porch but we wont have to buy alcohol for the rest of the week
Now I know he's not trying to fuck me. He took me to lunch at White Castle.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I'm your Election Erection Connection
I retroactively revoke all sex we've ever had.
But seriously who drew a dick on a tortilla and nailed it to the door?
When they send me to rehab, I'm screaming your name down the halls.
If this nail lady pinches my achilles one more time im kicking her directly in her bedazzled boobs
We got way too high so we're sitting in the parking lot of the movies trying to figure out what bar to go to
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
WHY ARE THERE SO MANY BURPS IN MY SMALL, INCREDIBLY ATTRACTIVE BODY
The fake number she gave me was for Pappa John's. Now I have a large pepperoni on the way.
at that point, I wouldn't blame you because I'd be so ashamed I couldnt even have sex with myself.
THERE IS A MAN IN THE BATHROOM IN COLONIAL GARB GET HERE
I just found out why people like handcuffs.
He passed out while I was riding him but stayed hard long enough for me to orgasm. He definitely earned the blow job I’m going to wake him up with in the morning!
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