I prefer the term 'tenderly watching'
such a stalker...
she wanted to love me. she just didn't know it yet.
I just needed to know whether or not to wear panties to work tomorrow.
My RA tried to compliment my pong tables design after he confiscated it
I can hear my fat mexican neighbor yelling "do you like that!" ...I hope its not his dog
this girl is having heart failure because she lost her feather...a gypsy blessed it in turkey. Not sure im high enough for this
Fuckkkk i made out with a freshman.....but he's old for his age. THIS IS WHAT HAPPENS WHEN YOURE NOT AROUND.
Currently getting "blaow" buzzed into my pubes. How's your thursday?
stop sending me battleship coordinates and get back here so i can suck your dick
He went down on me for an hour and a half. He needs to get promoted more often.
I may have just masturbated while on hold with the IRS. don't judge me
I really need to stop turning to the BDSM dungeon masters of tinder whenever my heart hurts
Nothing says girls night like wine cheese and pregnancy tests 😂
And by "have lunch together" you mean me giving you a blow job in the back of your Tahoe, right?
I wish I just waited long enough to hate someone to fuck one
I’m good. I learned that a guy ate the mushrooms that were growing out of his toilet, so there’s that.
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