In retrospect, pretending to punch a 9 year old girl in the face was a terrible analogy to use in a piano lesson.
When I meet a new girl, I'm terrified of mentioning something she hasn't already told me but that I have learned from some light internet stalking.
we watched a tutorial on how to do guidette makeup
If I'm gonna go to jail I'm gonna be wearing a poncho
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I had a dream about a turtle sitting on top of a horse skull. I'm certain its a symbol for my dead sex life. Trust me.
The last thing I remember was talking about the economic viability of cock ring manufacturing... we had some good ideas
using the campers leftover pizza money at the bar. Definition of great counselors right here.
The guy I fucked in San Diego is camping with us for coachella... Awk.
He's worked out some sort of arangment where all three of them are dating each other and they've all moved into an apt. with two king beds pushed together
A true beacon of hope in these dark times
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Im calling you paparazzi cause of all the dick pics you take of your one night stands ps loved the panoramic one!
I feel like the devil is trying to impregnate me through my eyeballs.
My bathroom smells like artichokes and absinthe. I am naming a perfume after you and using the money to buy new towels.
Pretty much all i've had today is sugar and orgasms
Why would you trust me with ANYTHING!!!???
When he said he lived in a closet I thought he meant his room was really small or something... But he actually has a queen size mattress on the floor of his roomates walk-in closet.
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