can you come get me at the bar
ill be there in 10 min
can we stop off at build a bear on the way home
and I was crying with the towel lady in the bathroom of the bar about the tragedy in Haiti. Then we hugged before I left and I gave her 10 dollars.
She must have been at ribfest tonight because my dick smells like barbeque sauce
she kept her crown on the whole time i was giving her birthday sex
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Don't be offended. I can't even stand sleeping next to my dildo after I'm done, let alone a whole person.
hes wearing the same tie today that i tied him up with last night.i wanna go home
Please tell me this is my four loko that I just woke up in....
Stop inviting me to your birth control calender reminders...my job is to test its effectiveness, not know its schedule
Lmao sorry
If i want her back i know all i have to do is sleep with a specific handful of her closest friends. That method is tried and true.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
by the way whatever wisdom you imparted upon me last night was lost to whatever i smoked out of a beer can.
Meanwhile I'm googling glory holes in Vegas
Never thought I'd say this, but getting head from a skeleton was better than I thought. Happy Halloween
His name was Dragon. For real. How do you not sleep with a Dragon? Don't judge me.
I came so hard my ears popped.
You can accomplish quite a bit with a can do attitude and a well placed ice cube.
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