So she puts out... but it wasn't worth it
i was just lookin through my fb pics and i think im with a cat in like 40% of them..: how sad is my life
it's a well known fact that sluts are attracted to bright colors
american apparel?
try lime green
So I tried to call my phone from his phone and was like, "hey, my name is not in here..I thought you had my number" turns out he has my number saved as "gives good head"
so I made out with a lobbyist last night. im officially a resident of D.C
Why are you seriouly talking to me about this when there naked pics of blake lively on the internet? Priorities man...
If you hook up with your cousin you will permanently be my favorite person ever.
Dude she's on meds. He has a ginormous penis. Ur A dumbass. That concludes our feelings chat. Dim Sumday?
You'd think the dry cleaners next door would be less judgmental for as much business as my theme parties bring them.
The tequila covers up the fact that the choco liquor tastes like sadness.
Well my sober pact lasted almost an hour. Then I did four shots. But in other news, one of those shots I took with a midget. So like I couldn't turn that shit down.
Nope, had to pee on the side got violated by tall grass. Then someone came around the corner and I had to stop mid pee to dive into the car.. Pants down
As much as I enjoyed playing drunk half naked twister and talking about my daddy issues last time, I'll have to pass.
Like I want to yell at him for pissing on my floor but there's still a chance its my pee....
It's like those toothpaste commercials where 4 out of 5 dentists would recommend your vagina
Randomize
