I basically get to watch her life fall apart via tumblr updates
incase your class ends early, there are three naked guys in our room. but don't get too excited, they're all gay.
im drinking tequila tonight so will you babysit my bra?
A whole bunch of large men eating Doritos just knocked on my door and asked if they could take out my trash?
well, I yelled "the tribe has spoken!" at a boatload of people and then I walked home alone in the pouring rain at 1:30am. karma really is a bitch, yo.
I think my greatest accomplishment today was probably using a bottle opener to get the cap off my fourth drink while holding the cat WITHOUT dropping him.
Oh god, what has my life become?
Why are you taking pics in the bathroom with the plunger? I mean you still look hot and I'm totally going to wack off to it.
I just shaved my "bikini area" into a fucking pizza slice
I just let my boss bend me over his desk and spank me. I think that is some sort of American dream.
you made out with another girl for some wings
Is it a problem if I'm trying to condition Goodbye Horses to trigger an erection?
I ended up snorting coke while wearing a Bavarian dress and I feel like I need to reevaluate my life
She turned off her phone alarm (which was the theme song to Star Wars) and then asked me if I wanted a blow job before she went...of course I am going to see her again.
i ate pretzels. i might be the first human to be hospitalized from pretzels. that's how bad this is.
Guess it's not a good idea to try lighting a cigarette with my stove drunk, I burnt off half my bangs.
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