just to let you know I saw you texting some Kim chick, and facebook saying she's ugly... good job you're gay now
Yeah i mean there's 3 guys fighting over me. It would just be bitchy of me not to get with at least 1.
he just called me skinny, hes either trying to get laid, or i'm going to have to marry this man
She's like the pied piper of lesbians.
I've broken several federal laws in the name of sex.
No driving. The car is spinning. I am praying for mcdonalds.
He told me he's not in to anal. I need to marry him, ASAP.
I hope my orgasm sounds aren't secretly that bad and no one tells me
How does this dude know what a dying walrus sounds like? That's the real question
Going to be a long day. text me later. Sorry I puked in your sink.
I thought it was improvement but then i realized sex isn't an emotion and I hate everyone
I mean, "boo" isn't the appropriate response to someone dying...
I want to bone him until his eyes fall out
Booty called 3 guys from my hospital bed
WHY DON'T YOU WANT TO BE MY ESKIMO BRO
P.s. There are few things I love more than brand new mascara and you are one of them.
Randomize
