Joe is a total sociopath, I'm going to hook up with him tonight
Def slept AT the bar last night, wow that's a first!
ron's 8" boning knife is for sale. oh and it comes with a flavor injector.
High?
hahahahaha turkey breast
Stars make me really horny. Especially that shiny one its just staring at me.
she was so hung over that i had to hold her hair while she puked in a trash can in the middle of the student center as new freshman and their parents walked by.
I can't tell if they're having sex or watching the beach scene from Saving Private Ryan. All I know is I hear explosions and men screaming and crying
What's the address?
Too drunk. Just google it.
IT'S YOUR HOUSE
A guy at one of our big accounts just said you probably dont remember meeting me saturday night ps you were right about those two girls being lesbian
I have a rage boner right now. An actual erection brought on by the amount of sheer hatred I have towards nationwide.
You shut your whore mouth, we don't talk about Drunk Nutella night.
I think I fell in love with her when I saw her kick a freshman in the chest
Of course I'm watching space shows while stoned on the science channel. Why would I want to learn while not baked out of my skull?
You are currently doing Harry Potter spells with the turkey-baster...
OMG. When you threw the used condom on your floor you threw it in my purse!!! I just went to grab my headphones and it was stuck to them!
Our livers are going to hate us.
It's okay, they're regenerative. God wanted this.
Randomize
