is sleeping with your Political Science professor Politically incorrect?
Was he helping you 'cram' for your final, or just giving an oral exam?
Defrosting my mini wheats in the microwave was a bad choice
walkin around the woods blazed, drawing pictures of trees and plants, i get a grade for this
Somewhere out there, someone is getting laid. And then theres me, watching Star Trek porn while my roommate plays World of Warcraft next door
We need to start having rules for the weekends. Like no more downing 3 shots because we want to slut dance a little harder or because biggie just came on.
Based on how hungover I feel today, it makes more sense that the bouncer didn't let me in to that bar.
I went to class with the sex aroma on me. The hot sun doesn't help much.
Does the blue bra belong to your sister or cousin?
i took my sailor hat off and used it as a vom bucket
LISTEN TO ME! GAY. FIREFIGHTER. They are the most rare and precious kind of gay. The kind little gays dream of. It needs to happen.
Worrying about "What smells like cat pee?" is so much easier than worrying about "What am I doing with my life?"
In my drunk state I was like I ONLY HAD SEX WITH SOMEONE ELSE BECAUSE HE WAS THE HOTTEST GUY IVE EVER EVEN SEEN
Did you just tell me you watch cartoon porn because it's more real?
I have a sixth sense for large penises and lack of morals
Ok, maybe playing "whose family is most dysfunctional" wasn't the best drunk idea we've had. Todd''s been crying in the bathroom for an hour. We can't get him out...