Applied 4 a nanny job usin a Legit Site. Xplain to me how the couple I found offered me a 3some complete with 'sexy pics' of the wife blowin hubby. wtf?
obviously you're part succubus.
I knew the sex would be bad when he slipped the rubber on and said "safe sex activated"
Tequila is the liquid version of celery. I lose more calories during tequila drunk and the following sexual activities than I gain by drinking it...
All I remember is taking a bath, puking in the bath water numerous times while trying to wash myself and I must of eventually given up
This Girl Got Ghosted By Her BF Of 5 Years While On A Trip They Took For Her Birthday
of course! give me a few hours to recover from chugging a 4loko out of a frisbee, and it will be rage time yet again
And I really REALLY don't feel like cleaning cinnamon off my penis tonight.
I WAS JUST SITTING HERE BEING SNIFFED BY ODD WOMEN FOR A SOLID 5 MINUTES. My face was a twist of utter fear and confusion...
There is not greater feeling than lying to your boss and leaving work to shit in the comfort of your own home
You know what's fun. When your getting a new mattress and you forget you put your vibrator under your old mattress and the moving guy finds it
People Are Applauding Chrissy Teigen For Getting Candid About Breast-Pumping
Calling a preemptive no homo on tonight's activities
he's a firefighter. like being a firefighter screams MY DICK IS HUGE SO I'M NOT AFRAID TO DIE IN THIS FIRE.
How would your parents feel if we installed a sex swing?
Watching the series finale of Friends and crying in my Thai food. I don't like hangover Jared.
Cocaine and dance dance revolution for 4 hours. I consider last night a success.
They gave me 4 meds at the health center and said not to take alcohol with any of them. Guess ill wait until tomorrow to feel better.
Randomize
