he whipped it out and it smelt like my toilet after taco Tuesday
if I could go back to kindergarten and not fuck up my life, I so would.
Please, do not let 'babydaddy' catch on as your petname for me.
Were not really friends so much as I suck his dick a lot
Its a three day weekend with Valentines day thrown in... Im obligated to get drunk
There's banana everywhere and your hamster may or may not have stayed the night in the microwave...
The guy I wanted to make out with just got beat up, let's roll.
If you ever find a dick that big chop it off and bring it to me.
It feels like im being cuddled by a thousand little smurf vaginas
Serious question: Should I volunteer to get tazered? My instincts say no but my wild side says yes.
I'll be visiting the rave tower. Prepare your finest boxed wines for my consumption.
I met her at the quidditch match. She was the snitch and I caught her. After at the bar she walked up grabbed my hand and said snitches have flesh memories.
On a scale of "huh, that's interesting" to "holy porn stars, batman". How good?
Definitely closer to "holy porn stars, batman".
how do you know everyone's mad at you?
I just woke up feeling shameful
What is ur current declared sexuality for my bingo board
Randomize
