I want your puppy
I meant pussy
I would rather you take my puppy
And I just remember seeing him for the first time and being like, who is this ape of a man? Like legit he could be the missing link
and thats how i got kicked in the balls by micky mouse
just shaved my legs at the gas station bathroom before going to the club. is that too ghetto?
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Somewhere at this very moment, a group of drunk white girls are singing dont stop believing.
Me and your penis are best friends. You don't know it, but I whisper my secrets whenever I give you blowjobs. We even have a secret handshake. We can't be separated from each other. We just can't.
All I know is that I woke up with my pajamas on inside out in front of a bowl of watered down kd. Sitting up. I didn't even make it to bed.
The amount of drugs I did this weekend make me concerned about my health but at the same time fascinated to see if I could do more
Usually I just ask myself "have I been naked here?" If the answer is no I correct the situation.
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I just folded my boss's lingerie. I need a drink and a raise
Like 50% of me thinks it'll be weird, 25% of me is curious & 25% of me is horny
I don't know what his name was or what he looked like, but I remember him rocking me to sleep with his cock
The guy got mobbed on, all hell broke loose. About 20 cops showed up, and this kid somehow convinced a cop that letting him pee in front of him is justifiable. This guy could sweet talk Hellen Keller, he was THAT good
The shrooms were awesome. Everyone's bones in their face looked so beautiful! Everyone had great face structures.
I think I broke my dick but 10/10 would definitely do it again.
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