brb k???!! plz don't leave i want 2 tlk bout r rltnshp
Letd wlk him
Lrtd walek hime
Lets wlk home,,,ther we go
so i have my big date this weekend, and i was practicing giving head with a bottle in the shower. i stopped and looked at the botton of the bottle. it was PURE MOLD! if i die, dont tell the doctors how this happened....
Oh my god. I think I just sexted my mom...
What?!
Fwd: Ride me, you sleek sleek woman!!!
It's sad that the best source of heat that I have is my vaporizer.
I really wasn't that bad. I thought I was pretty tame.
When Anthony passed out you poured vodka on his face
If Megan asks I spilled my water water all over her. I pissed on your roommate. You're welcome. I expect you to keep that on the down low. Seriously tell her the water thing
Make sure you have everything youll need until sunday. aka a green shirt and condoms.
He has what he calls a "Ben Franklin". It's a pubic hairdo based on the man himself; long on the sides and bald in the middle.
I know of an excellent nanny. A lot like Mary Poppins but way cooler. And likes pot.
In other news, the one guy I DIDN'T have sex with in High School is now famous.
My life is just a trash fire of work and Japanese video games now
What do you mean relationship? He paid for my tires and I gave him a blow job.
I just balanced a full glass of chocolate milk on my left boob. Don't think i've ever been more proud.
Her oh Gods turned into oh god I shouldn't be doing this I'm engaged.
Randomize
