now i know why they say having sex with her is the equivalent to licking a pay phone
my vagina has been out of service for wayy too long... this semester needs to start like right now
Now that I've lowered my makeout age to 21 I have a whole new sea to fish in.
Covered in gravy. Never pour gravy while drinking.
Tell me you didn't really piss in the hookah.
I have to stop envisioning penises as dragons.
Also I had a dream we made my birth control into a joint. What does that mean?
The spray paint was a bad idea, 'insert penis here' isn't coming off
I should not be so motivated by a penis, but I am
I just smoked weed with my physics professor. Tell me how my life is this.
He looked me deeply in the eyes and said "I don't want this to be the last time I see you.. Can I follow you on Instagram"
Phone keeps correcting good morning to "food moaning" and I like the way it thinks.
They have a shelf full of jello shots, what have i gotten myself into
only 4 hours until nug lovin time
excuse me?
nug lovin. lovin nugs.
I guess when the asshole said “I really miss you and want to get back together” he actually meant “I’m banging a Hooters girl behind your back.”
I hope she gives him gonorhea
Randomize
