Hehe I wanna Australian kiss.. Its like a French kiss but down under ;)
i just smoke outta the biggest bowl i've ever seen. the kid was totally compensating for a tiny weeenie.
Wasn't a date. In exchange for artichoke dip I received a bj. And sex. It was a transaction.
I walked out of the store holding my face and a lady pulled her daughter away from me as I then threwup in the parking lot
You played "let it burn" by usher 28 times, knocked over the 36 gallon fish tank, and passed out in the kitchen. Yeah...That drunk.
Maybe I'll make your dreams come true and pee on you tomorrow.
WHY IS FOOD SO DELICIOUS
BECAUSE SCIENCE
Any residual attraction has just been ruthlessly murdered by that mustache.
Dad's teaching me to make moonshine this weekend as "college prep". How scared should I be sis?
Your life has no conflict it's just a blur of sex and Netflix
Woke up with two different pairs of pants in the pockets of a jacket.None of the above are mine.
My heart wants him and my vagina wants him...to have a bigger dick.
I want to be a supportive friend to her, but I also want to sleep with her ex now that he's single.
he's such a nice guy...he deserves a bigger dick.
I've finally become one of those chicks with a taco in her purse.
Randomize
