My booty call said shes done doing the walk of shame. Wtf is that?
It's what anyone that sleeps with you, specifically, does when they leave. Some do it even when they just think of you.
So much for the toy store...Not a butt plug in the entire place. See you tonight.
Why do guys in porn never have boxers on?
better question: why do you always text me when you're watching porn
I can't really talk right now. I'm getting on a plane to Oregon to go give a guy a bj. I'll see you in three days.
The girl behind me in psych just tapped me on my shoulder to tell me there was a condom wrapper in my hood.
Trust me man, I did not put any cookies down your pants when you slept.
He kept falling asleep with the pizza in his hand. I woke him up and told him and he was shocked because he thought he ate it all. Then he would end up falling asleep and we'd repeat the whole process again.
Dude imagine how many pictures of dicks Obama gets. That can't be unusual. Almost every kids in the US has written the president a letter.
its just been over 12 hours, and i`m dying, don`t know how i`m supposed to survive the holidays sexless
I'LL COME GET YOU. GOTTA FIND A SUIT THAT COVERS TIT BRUISES FIRST.
Just walked by the neighbors and they are definitely butt naked sitting on a bed, watching Netflix, baked out of their minds, with the blinds open.
Welcome to Bellingham.
After sex he just told me I'm definitely pregnant and it's a girl. Should I run?
He's ruined me. Do you know how frustrating it is to know I'll never find another guy as tall and handsome and rich with as big of lips & booty, and cock as him who also rims and takes me on tropical vacations and buys me all the cocaine.
I'm touching everything in your apartment with my penis.
My inner 10 year old alcoholic is intrigued.
Randomize
